In recent months the Lord has been pressing me on this time and patience thing while simultaneously telling me to move. I’m like, “Look Lord, how can I ‘be still and know’ and move at the same time?” At times, it has been very stressful and we are not called to be stressed. Stress is the equivalent of worrying and one of my favorite scriptures, Philippians 4:6 says, “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.”
Yet I get anxious about so many things …things far into a future that is not even promised to me. All we have is the moment, the here and the now but I will find myself at work thinking about how I am going to pay my students loans that will start coming due when I graduate next Spring. While I am having absolutely no problems with my car, but because it is old and a little dinged up I will start wondering what will I do if I have to get a new car and pay car note. I wonder will I ever get married or will I die old and alone. The fact of the matter, I could get married tomorrow and still die old and alone if my husband precedes me in death or we get divorced. It just doesn’t pay to worry and it just doesn’t pay to get caught up in time.
For as long as I can remember I have been a watch wearer and a watch watcher. Until the past few years (not sure what happened…topic for another blog), I have always been on time. I always arrived on time, if not early, depending on where I was going, but I also was always ready to go when it was over. If it (whatever “it” was) didn’t start or end “on time”, I was very frustrated. I was always looking at my watch. I often never fully enjoyed where I was because I spent half of the time complaining about it starting late or going too long, so I did not enjoy the here and now of where I was. It was like I was going through the motions of attending but not really allowing myself to get engaged. I always missed the meeting after the meeting because I was already on the parking lot getting in my car headed home or the grocery store or whatever the next stop was on my to do list.
But lately God has been saying, “Slow down”. Yes, he has been saying move but simultaneously the Author and Finisher has been telling me to slow down. The Way, the Truth and the Life has been directing me to follow him…my path to God. Slow down and wait on him. It required me to say yes and mean it. It required me to say yes and take action by moving a few steps although I didn’t and still don’t know where I am going. God just said move. Move slowly. Don’t get ahead of me. I will let you know when and I will let you know how and when it is time I will let you know why. Just trust me and obey and let go of chronos time.
As of January I had been with my company ten years which is a milestone anniversary and you get so many points to buy things. I mostly used my points to buy gifts cards but I decided to get one item to have as representation of my ten years with the company. I “purchased” a brown leather watch. About three weeks ago I was separated from this, my only operable watch. God is truly turning my mind from chronological time to kairos time. Years ago I read Bishop Vashti M. McKenzie’s Journey to the Well and one of the chapters in the book dealt with kairos moments. Kairos is a Greek word that refers to the appointed time; it is the right time, the fullness of time, the time of opportunity for action or exchange, unrestricted by the passing of time.
We often get so caught up in the chronology of our necessities that we don’t discern the kairos moments. Chronology is humanity’s attempt to systematize the order of God’s creation and measure time in an orderly fashion within God’s creation using external resources. Kairos time is God determined. We tend to be unconscious of our kairos moments, having no idea when our time arrives, or our time to change begins. The kairos moment may never return again so we need to develop our sensitivity to our kairos moments. There is the kairos of spring: a season of new beginnings. The kairos of summer: the season of ripening. The kairos of autumn: the season of productivity. The kairos of winter: the season of renewal. There may be no external indications of the kairos opportunity but you can discern the time by being in relationship with the Timekeeper.
Wow, the Timekeeper and I have been extremely engaged in the recent months. I was tickled pink by him today when I went by the office to pick up a package that I was expecting but had forgotten about. A friend and fellow author who recently relocated overseas shared that they were going to send me something. They told me to be looking out for an eBay package. I said okay but kept moving forward on the life’s journey. On Thursday they emailed saying that according to the tracking, the package should have arrived. I didn’t get home until after 6:00 p.m. and the office was closed so I had to wait until today to get the package.
Since the Lord has been telling me to take it slow, I was in no rush to go to office to the get the package. I was guessing that it was a tool for me to use in my passion for writing. After walking the dog I stopped by the office and it was closed with a notice that they would return at 3:20 p.m. so I went upstairs to take an hour nap. When I came back, the property manager was leaving to go downstairs and he said he would be back in “just a second” so I waited in the lobby (for more than a second). Eventually the maintenance supervisor showed up and he went into the office and retrieved my package. When I opened my eBay box and I saw the watch box inside all I could do was smile. It’s time…it’s kairos time.